Posted by Carey Wodehouse on May - 8 - 2012 0 Comment

(Photo courtesy of NBC.  This is the face of a woman who thinks you don’t respect women enough.)

Full disclosure: I will tell you I don’t watch the Voice—just stumbled upon it between DVR’d episodes of BBC Top Gear—but I’ll be lying. Because I watched it.

I don’t watch The Voice—I just stumbled upon it between DVR’d episodes of Top Gear on the BBC. What started out as a promising, abundant glimpse of Christina Aguilera’s oily bosoms quickly deteriorated into a misguided feminist rant of liberal proportions.

If there’s one thing liberals know how to do well, it’s suck the fun out of things for everyone else. And if there’s one thing many feminists know how to do, it’s inadvertently embarrass the hell out of the rest of their sex. I know; I was there.

“This is a REAL MAN. A REAL MAN,” Xtina woofed after her male charge sang a tribute to her. She was clearly still bristling over Tony Lucca’s solid performance of Jay-Z’s “99 Problems” minutes earlier—”I got 99 problems, but the b*tch ain’t one,”—after which the best criticism of his performance she could muster was, “I mean, I found the lyrical connotation to be a little derogatory toward women.”

No one told her the song was written about a close call with a drug dog and a trunk full of dope? Not that an explanation is even needed here, especially to a woman who is a self proclaimed hip hop fan. Hip hop is historically very generous to women!

“Well, we’re definitely live,” Carson Daly said. 

The bottom line is convenience. That default “right because I’m right because I care and you don’t” positioning. And apparently we can’t avoid it, even in shows about vocal ability.

When Christina Aguilera tore off on her belligerent, misplaced bullroar—incidentally taking the spotlight from the actual contestants; who are the real victims here, women of the world or those kids singing for their lives?—it was a major drag. And not because she looked like she was in drag. It did what the worst, and most prevalent, liberal arguments do: conveniently ignores and seeks to erase intent.

Maybe I’m projecting here. Maybe she’s just whipping up a frenzy and her risky strategy might translate to votes. God knows there are enough compartmentalized groups of victims out there who will bite. 

And they definitely all have cell phones.

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